Today Tim and I have been married for 5 years and together for 14 and a half. We just hit the "We've been together for half our lives" number. That's pretty crazy and quite an accomplishment for 2 fourteen year olds. We seriously were babies!
Tim is my soul mate. All cheesy-ness aside, he really truly is. Some people use this term too freely. I feel a complete sense of self with him. We are as close as any two people can be. We know what each other is thinking and feeling at all times. We have this weird connection where one will be thinking about the other and then the phone rings and its him...vice versa. We do this all of the time. The attraction and desire to want to spend time with each other is always there. We allow one another all the space we need so that when we do spend time together its because we genuinely want to be in each others company. We respect the others hobbies and never resent them for it. We know that we each need creative outlets and to put pressure on the other would create a conditional love and an expectation on the other and that does not make for a happy marriage...For us anyways.
That brings me to one of my favorite bits of advice that we apply to our marriage every single day. Have no expectations when it comes to your significant other. None! Zero! For some reason that sounds terrible to say but it really is a wonderful thing. You see, if you are constantly expecting the other to do this and that you will most likely always be disappointed in them. Why aren't you holding my hand every where we go, you need to be more affectionate, you need to call me more. Those are all expectations. I don't expect Tim to do anything but he obviously always does therefore I am always pleased at the little things.
I am so grateful for our happy marriage of 5 years. We have grown and accomplished so much together. And we continue to grow and change in unison. I don't know what we did to deserve such a special relationship. What I do know is that there is not one day where I take him for granted. He is a wonderful, selfless man and I get to call him mine. He's also easy on the eyes. Its just not fair.
For my sister's wedding the married siblings were asked to share a bit of marital advice. I of course wrote a novel and it obviously had to be edited down a lot! I thought today would be the perfect day to share that. Now I am no professional but I do know what works for us and we are disgustingly in love and as happy as ever!
What I love about Tim and I's marriage is that we always make sure we tend to each other. Yes, we are parents but that doesn't define our relationship. We strive to be overly affectionate and always make sure the other is feeling loved and appreciated. You must also be best friends. Share in interests but also have your own individual hobbies. Love means accepting each other, flaws and all. And learning to love them for it. At this point I've accepted the fact that Tim will never put his midnight cereal bowl in the sink or clean up his whiskers after shaving... So now those things make me smile because that's just who he is. You must also love yourself. Knowing that someone else knows just as well as you do how perfect you are in all of your imperfections. Lastly, A marriage and to be in love means committing to that person because you know they complete you in every way.