32 weeks...How did I get here?

2:51 PM



Ok time for an update. I know its been a while, I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed. Here are my feelings thus far: So, as I cross the threshold of the third trimester, I cant help but feel like I've been pregnant for 5 minutes! Ha! How and when did I get here? This is crazy, I am not ready!! I think having a 2nd child just might be more terrifying then the first. Ignorance is bliss when it comes to the labor, recovery and life in general with a new born baby, OH and the demands of nursing. I am a firm believer in breast milk. (You cannot beat all natural and don't expect breast milk to be RE-CALLED any time soon. Ha-Ha!) And I know that requires a lot from me to keep up my supply as well.


Needless to say, I am a little freaked out about becoming a mother of two! Don't get me wrong, I am so thrilled to have our sweet itty bitty lady join our family and I also know that the anxiety I am feeling now will be a distant memory when her beautiful BIG eyes meet mine for the first time. I'm really stressing about how I am going to share my time with each of them, the time I am able to spend with my husband and myself as well. Simple tasks like going to the store will become difficult once again, and those first 6 weeks after delivery are so hard/painful on your body. MOST importantly I am EXTREMELY worried about the delivery. Our daughters delivery was nothing short of a nightmare. She was large for my frame and I should have NEVER gone over 40 weeks, my Doctor made MANY mistakes, and my sweet little lady had to pay for it! I wasn't able to hold my child for 24 hours at least!! The thought of having to go through any thing like that again is too painful for me to even fathom. PLEASE GOD LET THIS DELIVERY BE ROUTINE AND UNEVENTFUL!!



Please do not misinterpret this as complaining, these are true and honest feelings that I am sure most mothers have and by me writing down my thoughts, I usually always find new understanding about myself and maybe my husband will understand what my deal has been lately after reading this as well. ;D



So here is where my anxiety stemmed from:


At my Doctors appt last week my Dr. finally received my hospital records. It took over a month to get them from my "Ex" doctor. (She knew she screwed up and was trying to avoid giving
them to me.) We went over what happened and compared them to what was in the report. Let me just say I have not thought about those details since the day Liv was born. I literally put all that happened that day into a black box, locked it up, and hid it in the darkest part of my mind. I am a barrier of feelings. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve and I don't like to talk about feelings. (Your really starting to get to know me now!) So for me to have to re-visit that day was very hard but I know that its important in the delivery of baby #2. With that knowledge my SUPER AMAZING Dr. is taking my delivery very seriously. I can really tell that she wants nothing more then to give me the experience that every mother (Dads too!) should have when their child is born! Complete happiness and JOY! (No parent should ever have to feel that fear of not knowing if their child will live, moments after meeting for the first time. And if you have I am so so sorry!) She realized that my frame cannot successfully deliver a baby over 7LBS and for some reason I make BIG babies!! I was a 10 pounder when I was born. (I know! WOOOF!!)LOL So her plan is to induce me around 37-38 weeks, all depending on her size. Not only do I feel like I've only been preggo for 5 minutes but now its getting cut short! EEEEeeeeeee! At that moment all the anxiety I explained above, settled on my chest and has been living there ever sense!




Aches and pains:


My back has been really hurting. Constantly now. I am best friends with my heating pad!


My hips hurt so much when I sleep now, I have to turn over every 30 minutes it seems.


Sciatica, occasionally, depends on of I worked that day.


My feet and calves have been getting really bad cramps in the middle of the night.


Not really an ache but a pain in the *** is my swollen feet! Yup I have cankels now! The feet swelling doesn't really go down unless my husband rubs them for me. So that explains why their always swollen! :D Ahahaha love you Honey!!




Baby size: Large side...Obviously. I'm thinking shes pushing 4 pounds at least!




Belly size:


Oh man, lets just say Im no longer in the "Awww look how cute your belly is" phase. I am now at the, "Oh jeese are you like about to POP!" "Yeah gee thanks! I KNOW I'M HUGE SO SHUT IT" phase! HAHA I'm really not that sensitive about it though! ;D



Belly button: Really?




Weight gain: 17 pounds (Sweet, I'll take it! With Liv I gained 55LBS o_O)




Cravings/ Appetite


I have had zero appetite for a few weeks now. Not much is appealing to me.


Baked potato craving is back!


Pink lady apples


Tangerines


This is a weird one: MINT! I cannot get enough mint. I have to have the green gum with me at all times, and it takes major self control for me not to take a bite out of my minty chapstick! HA! (I'm not kidding!) Oh and this is reeeally bazaar, my dental floss is like the perfect flavor of mint, I'll even chew on it until it looses flavor! Hahaha Oh man, pregnant woman are SO WEIRD!!


Energy level:


It comes in spurts, but I haven't really had much energy with this pregnancy to begin with.




Favorite things:


Belly pillow (DUH)


Oooo our amazing new 500-somethin thread count sheets. They.Are.So.SOFT!!!!


My cocoa butter body scrub you can find at the body shop. My skin is at its all time best!


My heating pad


My new part! LOL I changed up the part in my hair and I feel like a whole new woman!




Things I miss:


Sleeping through the night. I don't think Ive slept all the way through the night since about 9 weeks or so.


Sushi/ Sashimi


Cinnamon Dolce Latte's


Skinny ankles


Sleeping on my belly

Smells:
(this is a funny one. Lately there have been some scents that I cant seem to get enough of!)
My vacuum when its on ? I know...Strange
My husbands cologne
PLAY-Dough Ohhh I love it!!
Laundry fresh from the dryer
My business partners make-up carriers. They smell SO good!!!
My dishwasher when its running. I can just stand there and smell it all day!
Hahaha I am felling weirder and weirder the more I write! LOL



I forgot to mention that at my last appt. I received my RHOgam shot. I have Rh- blood. Basically what it means is that if my baby had a blood type that wasnt compatible with mine my body would create anti-bodies and pretty much reject the baby.

RHOgam is basically a shot of generic Rh antibodies--the very stuff that your body would make if exposed to enough Rh positive blood. The RHOgam will bind with any Rh positive blood in your body and that blob of stuff gets flushed out through your kidneys before your body ever begins an immune response. This will protect any future babies from being attacked by your body.


This is a pic of the RHOgam shot! I told ya it was gnarly. The needle looks like pencil led! OUCH

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1 comments

  1. Hi! I found your bow display tutorial, then saw this post- I have 2 kiddos (5, 20 months) and am pregnant with #3. I remember feeling really worried about going from a Mom of 1 to 2. It really is not that bad, you'll figure it out :) Things aren't that much different and I have had plenty of time to spend with my oldest, and my husband. And the awesome thing is now that my youngest has gotten a bit older, her and her older brother play together and entertain eachother- its awesome! I'm sure your children will do the exact same. :) I have been feeling nervous all over again since I'm about to have my third child, but I had thought back to those worries I had before, and I'm trying to tell myself it will all be just fine. I'll be praying your delivery goes well and you and baby are in good health! :) Take care and God bless

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